Let’s mix it up, people! Your assignment – whether or not you should want to accept it – is to celebrate cultural diversity in Canada. Wear a sombrero to work, or a witch’s hat to a funeral. Wear a Nazi helmet to the Pride Parade, or a Klansman hat to a wedding.
If any authoritarian dweeb dare challenges you, call them a hater, a cultural bigot, a… yes, a hatophobic. Say you are merely expressing harmony among diverse cultures.
Women, wear your burqa to a bank, or to a voting station, or to the beach. Claim freedom of religious expression. If society’s hall monitors feel uncomfortable about it, that’s their problem, not yours.
Men, a nice bright orange turban would go well with your cool blue business suit, don’t you think? Your boss can just keep his mouth shut or it’s the Human Rights Tribunal for him! Or how about a tasselled fez with your RCMP uniform? A man in sheik’s clothing is always a smashing fashion statement when going through airport security.
Going to a PETA rally? Don a fashionable bearskin guard’s hat. Let the animal sycophants gripe to the Queen, for all the good it’ll do them. The animal righters would really appreciate seeing your montera, or better yet, wear a Shtreimel and call them anti-Semitic if they kvetch.
Wear a Santa hat to a synagogue, a mitre to the opera, a rastacap to a Tory fundraiser, or a yarmulke to Catholic services.
Never mind that it mocks religious beliefs and cultural practices. Never mind that it makes security guards nervous. Never mind it enrages the politically correct. It’s legal, it’s provocative, and it’s fun!
This is General Disorder for Vulture Guard. Carrion, Canada…